


We Need to Talk

by jenhedgehog



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 20:06:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18924130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenhedgehog/pseuds/jenhedgehog
Summary: Written for day three of Lapidot Anniversary Week 2019 (prompt: reconciling with the past)Peridot has been hard at work on reconstructing the barn with Bismuth's help.  However, a rising tension in the air between Peridot and Lapis leads to Bismuth stepping away for a while, leaving the barn mates to have the conversation that they've both been avoiding...





	We Need to Talk

“We need to talk.”

 

Peridot’s words hung in the air like a lead weight that was about to drop at any moment.   Lapis glanced over at the green Gem, finally averting her gaze from the floor.

 

“What is there to say?” she replied quietly, “We’re back on earth, rebuilding the barn.”

 

“Yes, I _know_ , but...” Peridot hesitated, slowly getting to her feet and making her way over to Lapis.  Various planks of wood were strewn across the floor, along with boxes full of tools and nails.  With Bismuth’s help, she had been reconstructing the barn after its recent destruction.  She and Lapis both wanted a fresh new start, with a new home, but the atmosphere of late had been one of heightened tension.  This wasn’t lost on Bismuth, who had opted to “take a break” with Pumpkin and spend the day with Steven in the Beach House.  In truth, she had stepped away in order to give Peridot and Lapis the privacy that they so very clearly needed.

 

“Lapis, so much has happened,” Peridot continued as she sat down on a pile of planks next to the Ocean Gem, “Don’t you... ever _think_ about that?”

 

Lapis felt her hands involuntarily closing into tight fists.

 

“Of course I do,” she said, bowing her head again, “But we can’t change what happened.   What we did...”

 

“I know,” Peridot answered, “But we can’t just _ignore_ it, Lapis!  We need to be honest with each other!  You... you were so angry when you discovered that I’d been lying to you.  If I had told the truth, would you still have left?  Would you have taken the barn and just _flown away_ like that if I hadn’t pushed you to it?!”

 

Peridot stopped herself, becoming increasingly aware of her voice raising and her eyes stinging.  She lifted her visor to wipe her eyes with a shaking hand, then turned back to Lapis.  The blue Gem was looking at her now, her face the perfect picture of agony.

 

“Peridot, I...” Lapis stammered, “It-it wasn’t you fault!  I made a mistake, I ran away because I was scared of the Diamonds.  I didn’t want to lose everything... to lose _you-_ ”

 

“So you just _abandoned_ me instead?!” Peridot wailed, tears streaming down her face.  Lapis gasped, feeling her own eyes beginning to burn.

 

"No, it wasn't like that!" Lapis responded, "I wanted you to come with me!  And Pumpkin, too!  But when you said no I just... I..."

  
  
"Left us behind." Peridot flatly finished the sentence for Lapis.

  
  
Lapis sighed heavily, rubbing her face in frustration.   _Of course that's how it would have looked to Peridot_ , she thought.   _It was selfish and_...

 

“Peridot, I’m so sorry,” Lapis said, her voice so full of regret, “I didn’t want to hurt you.  I wasn’t thinking clearly.  Sometimes it’s... it’s difficult to face up to the things that are the most terrifying.”

 

Lapis paused, inching closer to Peridot.  The green Gem looked so sad.  Just as she had looked on those lonely nights when Lapis had watched her from the Moon Base.

 

“Please don’t cry,” Lapis murmured, raising a hand gently to Peridot’s face.  With a flick of the wrist, Lapis’ hydrokinesis dealt with the technician’s tears.

 

“When I was on the Moon Base, I kept checking on you,” the Ocean Gem continued, the slightest hint of a blush beginning to dance across her face, “I wanted to come back to earth, but I was afraid of what you’d say.  I didn’t think that you’d want to be near me anymore.  In the end, _that_ was scarier than the Diamonds...”

 

Peridot gazed at Lapis, who was beginning to fidget.

 

“All that fear, it overwhelmed me in the end,” Lapis murmured, “So I fled even _further_ away.  But that’s when I realised that I was wrong.  That you had been so upset because of _me_.  You... you always put my feelings before yours, and I couldn’t do the same for you.”

 

“Lapis, I...” Peridot began, slowly reaching out to place a comforting hand on Lapis’ arm, “I understand”.

  
"I've... I've done bad things, Peridot.  Awful things.  I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want me to live with you after all that."

 

"Why wouldn't I?" Peridot replied with a weak smile, her tears beginning to dry up, "I’ve done some terrible deeds as well.  But it's not like that anymore!  We're Crystal Gems now, _both_ of us.  We have a new purpose now, a new life... and a new home."

  
  
Lapis nodded in agreement, giving Peridot the kind of look that was reserved specially for the technician.  Those half-lidded eyes and that warm smile, almost as though she was in--

  
  
"You're right," Lapis said, "But I hurt you Peridot, and I destroyed our home and..."

  
  
"No," Peridot interjected, "The barn isn't my home, Lapis _\- you are!"_

  
  
"What?" Lapis raised her eyebrows, her gaze drawn to the teal blush that was now forming across Peridot's face.

  
  
"I thought the earth was my home, but I was wrong... well, that's _technically_ correct! But..." Peridot hesitated, shuffling her feet in a manner that Lapis could have sworn was nervousness, "It doesn't feel like home without _you_."

  
  
Lapis' eyes widened. The Ocean Gem became aware of a distinct warmth now crawling back over her own cheeks.

  
  
"It felt like a dream come true when you returned to earth," Peridot continued, “I’d stopped caring about the barn by then; I was just convinced that I'd pushed _you_ to leave forever."

  
  
"I probably would have left forever, if it wasn't for you," Lapis murmured in response, causing Peridot to stare at her open-mouthed.

  
  
"Oh my stars..." the green Gem muttered, shifting slightly before composing herself, "Even after I lied to you?!"

  
  
Lapis chuckled, her cynical sense of humour getting the better of her.  "It's no worse than flying into space with a barn, is it?"

  
  
"I suppose not."

  
  
There was a moment of awkward silence. The awful tension that had been in the air for so long was beginning to morph into something else. It was still most definitely _tension_ , that was for sure, but it was tension of an entirely different kind.

  
  
After what felt like an eternity, Peridot cleared her throat.

  
  
"Lapis, I'm sorry that I failed to be truthful with you. I promise that it won't happen again.  We need to be honest with each other.  I previously thought that honesty was a _bad_ thing, but now I know that lying is worse.  And I... I don’t want to lose you again."

  
  
"It's ok, Peridot," Lapis replied softly, placing her hand onto Peridot’s, "You don't need to apologise anymore.  And... I'm sorry, too.  I'm sorry for everything that I put you through.  I'm done with running away now. You were right all along, Peridot - we belong here, on earth, together."

  
  
Peridot beamed at Lapis, who grinned back at her.  Neither one of them had quite realised how closely they were now sitting next to each other.  Peridot looked down at her hand and jumped when she noticed Lapis’ own hand on top of it.  She looked back up at the Ocean Gem, who was smiling down at her.

 

With a deep breath, Peridot lurched forwards and grabbed Lapis in a tight embrace – which the Ocean Gem was swift to reciprocate.

 

“To more running.  No more lying...” Peridot muttered, her eyes beginning to sting again, “Let’s live our lives together again, but this time we’ll do it properly.”

 

“That sounds good to me,” Lapis softly replied, absent-mindedly running a hand through Peridot’s hair as she continued to hold the technician closely to her.  Neither one of them ever wanted to be apart from the other again – and in this tender moment, which was to be the first of many more to come, they realised just how important they both were to each other.

 

No matter what had happened in the past, they knew that their futures would unfold together; just as they had both so desperately wanted.


End file.
